Police Blotter: Two Wild Composers Arrested for Disorderly Conduct

special journal entry by Fritz von Schnitzler

After a few days of sight-seeing, visiting composers Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Ludwig van Beethoven decided to return to Slightly North of Broad to re-visit their selection of house spirits.

Apparently, our charming but too-full-of-Charleston’s-best-wines duo caused quite a commotion among patrons and were gently ushered out of the restaurant.  I followed closely by...

The composers hobbled down the street to the OLD EXCHANGE & PROVOST DUNGEON at the end of Broad Street and began flirting with the ladies waiting to visit the historic building.  Suddenly one of the women screamed - staff appeared and ordered the famous composers to leave the premises.  They refused to do so and a tussle ensued with staff who called for help.  They were BUSTED by Tony Youmans’ diligent guards and immediately put under arrest!!   They got a tour of the Provost Dungeon alright - right into a cell!

I was able to hide behind a brick column - so after the guard left I overheard the cause of the mischief:   

Beethoven: “I told you NOT to attempt kissing that bon-bon in the pretty bonnet!!”

Mozart: “You had kissed her hand - I only wanted to expand the compliment!”

Beethoven: “The guard is her HUSBAND, you fool!!”
Mozart: "Oh..how could I know? (he listens) Wait - Do you hear that strange sound of chains clanging? It's getting dark down here...

I was able to sneak out as it was scary and, oddly enough, one of the women hailed me - she called me "Frizie" and asked if I knew a way to get into the Festival.  I gave her the information and we went back to SNOB - what a delightful place Charleston is!!!

I heard the next morning the ghosts of pirates kept those two composers jumping all night!!  They sang arias to keep away the ghosts until Fraulein NIkolajevs came to bail them out!

SPECIAL NOTE: purchase your Mozart in the South Tickets today!  Visit www.MozartInTheSouth.org to order online or call 843.763.4941.